Charles and I have never been huge on buying gifts for our little girl. She has a bunch of family that give her nice things at Christmas and on birthdays so we only ever bought her a couple of things and they would never be overly big. Generally I prefer to let her pick some fabric out and sew her a new dress, a quilt or make her something (this year she’s asked me to make her a little cradle for her toys and I have just the right design in mind).
Despite this philosophy and the thought that she was probably still getting way more than she needed, I never thought about stemming the flow of gifts from other people. Then, when she turned three we had her birthday at KidCity where they make you put all the toys in a big bag and take them home to open them. Once home Madam opened three and then declared she had enough and didn’t need any more. When I asked her what we should do with the rest she shrugged and said, “give them to someone else?”
At first I thought it was a phase. But three weeks later as Christmas approached, when I asked her what she wanted, she rolled her eyes and said, “Mama, I just had my birthday and I got lots of presents and I don’t need anymore!” And it was pretty much the same story when Madam turned four. At this point I realised that we were at a turning point. We could either encourage her to be more materialistic and really push her to ask for and accept gifts - effectively indoctrinating her into the commercial world of me, me, me, what planet? Or we could build on what she had already realised and encourage her to think of the things she really needed in her life - not just the things she momentarily wants.
Since that time we’ve encouraged people to slow down on the gifts and think instead of things they can do with her. Every Saturday when she wakes up the first thing she asks us is where we’re going and what we’re going to do. She is nuts about visiting her family and longs for more time with her aunties, uncles, grandparents and cousins. So this year we went all out and asked for vouchers for experiences instead of gifts. We also encouraged people to make their vouchers for small things as much as big stuff. At Charlotte
The “vouchers instead of gifts” program was a screaming success. Madam likes to shuffle her vouchers and plan her weekends around what she can do with the gifts people have given her. They’ll keep her going well into the year.
It was so successful that it got me thinking even more about our gift-giving practices. Charles and I have heaps of stuff and while there are always some things we need, more ubiquitous “stuff” that people bought on a whim is unlikely to fill those gaps. When I think about it most of our family are in the same boat. With good salaries and full lives, what we’re short on is time with each other.
So this year Charles and I have started the move towards a more sustainable Christmas. We’ve decided that gifts will fall into one of two categories – either we know the person needs it and then we can buy it new or, if it’s just a nice thing to have then it’s revamped secondhand or homemade. Example one – Charles’ sister has a beautiful mirror that shattered years ago now. We’ve taken it off her hands and offered to get new glass installed as our gift to her. We know she loves that mirror, we know she doesn’t have the time to do it herself. Personally I think she’ll appreciate it for a lot longer than the random DVD we bought on the off chance she’d like it.
As a part of our move towards a more sustainable Christmas we’re also going to fill a basket with homemade goodies for people to choose something out of as their gift and that’s what some of December’s blog posts will be about. I will be giving full instructions for easy to make, relatively cheap gifts. In January I will also post on some of the bigger second-hand items we lovingly scored and restored for our beloved family members.*
I really urge everyone to think about your gift-giving practices and move towards sustainable gift giving. You don’t need to rape the planet to have a good Christmas and your loved ones will probably appreciate it if you devote your time and effort to something personal for them this Christmas.
* But not now because some of them read this blog and no one wants to ruin the surprise.
No comments:
Post a Comment