The Five-Year-Old Answering Service

I have copped a few interesting remarks lately about allowing Charlotte to answer our phone – as though I was the one who taught her how to click the green button and just say “hello”.

Charlotte has learned how to use a phone much the same way as she’s learned most things I’d prefer she didn’t do.  By watching either Charles or myself very carefully, memorising what we appear to be doing and trying it out for herself when we’re not around.  

In this case the first indication we had that she knew how to use the phone came a month or so ago when we caught her with the handset pressed up to her ear.

“Oh no thanks,” she said into the phone, “I just like listening to the beautiful music.”

And then she clicked it off.  Redial revealed that she’d managed to call the paediatrics unit of Calvary Hospital. 

A few days later and she answered her first call when we didn’t get to the phone in time.

While she might not know correct phone answering etiquette yet we’ve figured out that she has just enough phone answering savvy to be rather useful.  People we know are aware that we are taming a five-year-old and will address her in person and then ask for one of us to be put on the phone.

People who don’t know us – like telemarketers for instance – are an entirely different matter.  Charlotte recently answered the phone and walked slowly around in circles saying “Mhm” and “Aha” and “OK” every few seconds.  She then paused and said in her most polite voice, “Look I’m really sorry but I just don’t think we know you.  But thanks for calling!”

And she hung up.  Solid gold.