I found this quote on the Internet today and uploaded it for a day as my Facebook profile pic because I'm going through a month of quotes that strike a chord with me (just for something different to do). This image resonated with me because of something that happened to me when Charlotte was a baby. When my baby girl was born I landed in a mother's group in a wealthier part of town and they were almost all career women in their forties who had given up their jobs to have their IVF baby before it was "too late" and they were treating motherhood just like they'd treated their job - something to succeed at, something to win at, something to devote themselves to, to the exclusion of everything else*.
I had a number of issues with these women and we clashed on almost all fronts - mainly because I tend to wing motherhood like I wing everything else, making it up as I go along and generally just trying to fit my parenting into the space created by my lifestyle, beliefs, values and philosophies. I am ashamed to admit that I've only ever read a parenting book once and that was only because Charlotte had a weird rash.
Anyway, the upshot is that mother's group was not a happy place for me because Charlotte excelled at everything and hit all the milestones before everyone else's kid, despite the fact** that I was a dead loss who ignored the experts and this made these women furious.
Why this particular image was such an awesome discovery for me is because one day we had a guided discussion in the group about what we wanted our children to be when they grew up. As they took their turns it gradually dawned on me that my time in mother's group was coming to a close. Because my daughter was three months old, and had only just discovered her toes which were now her biggest obsession, I had never so much as wondered what she might be interested in career-wise. But these women weren't held back by the fact that most of their kids hadn't even mastered holding their heads up for longer than nine seconds. They had plans.
What really tore it for me was the mother holding her dribble poo bomb who announced that they had already enrolled their son at King's College in Sydney because they wanted him to have the very best opportunity he could have to become Prime Minister. "The way I see it," she said airily, "You should aim as high as you can and then it's up to them. And let's face it, you can't really do much better than running the country."
I was really, genuinely appalled. I didn't even know mother's like this existed. All I could see for this poor kid was a future full of structured play in educational environments and stern warnings about picking his socks up and living up to his potential. It sounded like the childhood equivalent of a salt mine. And then it was my turn.
"Tell us," the queen bee mother sneered, "What would you like Charlotte to be when she grows up?"
I flirted with saying something like "stripper" but in the end I went with the only thing I could think of.
"Um... Healthy and happy. What she does for a living will obviously be up to her..."
Which is why I love this quote so much. Because I don't think it matters how smart you are or what you do for a living, what matters is whether you wake up every day and love the life you're living. You only get one. Make the most of it. That's what I want for my kids.
The footnote to this little anecdote is that when she was three Charlotte was asked what she wanted to be when she grew up and she fixed this particular person with a stare that conveyed that she was unimpressed with having to answer such a stupid question and said very slowly and clearly, "I'm going to be Charlotte." Solid. Gold.
* Anyone who knows me is probably already giggling.
** Or, dare I say it, because of...
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