Tool Chick's Guide To Life: Occasionally Ignorant People Are Inspiring

Our childcare centre has a U-shaped driveway that runs past the front door – an ideal place to pick up and drop your kids off. Unfortunately it’s been the source of disputes in the past leading them to put up a sign that said “Please be mindful of others when you park in the driveway and do not park for extended periods.” I never got this sign because it’s pretty simple – you pull up, drop off or pick up your kids and leave. Staying for awhile? No problem, use the car park. Where’s the problem?

Well today I experienced first-hand why we need signs to explain common sense to people. As I pulled up behind a black car to pick James up this afternoon, a third car pulled in behind me. I didn’t say anything because I figured okay, she’s seen that I’m boxed in – she’s obviously here for a fast pickup and even if I’m faster I don’t mind waiting a few minutes. This was at ten past five.

I go in, collect my excited son and strap him into his car seat. And wait. And wait. And wait. It’s now twenty past five. I’ve got two antsy kids and a boot full of shopping. Just as the third song is starting on the stereo and Charlotte has asked for the fourth time why we’re just sitting there, I give up and go in search of the owner of either of these two cars to ask them to please move so we can leave. We’ve been in the car for over five minutes now and three families have both arrived and left in the time we’ve been waiting.

As soon as I get inside I spot the very woman who’s boxed me in, chatting away with the childcare workers. Now admittedly, it’s been a long day full lots of horrendous legal muck to wade through. I was not exactly in my best frame of mind – in fact I was exasperated beyond belief. But still I just caught her attention and said, “Hey could you please move your car?”

“Oh! Sorry! I thought the car in front would have gone by now.”

“Well no, actually he hasn’t,” I tell her, “So if you wouldn’t mind…”

And then I head back out to the kids.

She takes another two minutes to come out and a quick check of the clock shows we’ve all been there waiting eight minutes, fifteen in total since I first parked. Ms Boxer has one child trailing her, so no reason for the epic pick-up other than a chance to gossip. As she comes out the door Charlotte asks me if this is the lady parked behind and can we please leave now and I say yup, that’s her and yes, we’re going.

Instantly Ms Boxer pauses, bends down to my (closed) passenger window and lips pulled back in an aggressive sneer says rather loudly, “Did you just say something to me?”

“No,” I shake my head and jerk my thumb back at Charlotte to indicate I was talking to her. But that doesn’t stop Boxer. Clearly me failing to rise to the bait has been a sign of weakness and it’s taken as a signal to ramp it up further. Boxer gets louder, gesturing with her hands to make her point. I can’t really hear her through the window though so I hop out and she’s in full on rant about how I’ve behaved and telling me a word of advice, try to be nicer.

Here is where I begin to lose my temper.

“I think that might cut both ways,” I tell her, “Given that you’ve boxed me in and taken your time getting back to leave. That’s not exactly nice, or even courteous, is it?”

She’s kind of retreated since I got out of the car and she’s on the back foot now. I assume she was expecting me to humble myself, apologise and backtrack, not get out of the car to address her rant. But she still goes in for the parting shot.

“Hey even THEY commented on your attitude,” she snaps, jerking her head at the childcare centre, “I’ve been boxed in lots of times and I don’t make a big deal out of it!”

“How is asking you to please move your car making a big deal out of it?”

“It was the look you gave me when you said it,” she shoots back, “But don’t worry I’m leaving now.”

“Well I’m truly sorry you feel so imposed upon,” I shrug, “But thanks for moving.”

The disgusted snort I got as she threw herself into the car does not encourage me to believe this is over or that Ms Boxer is going to let it go.

Never one to miss a chance for self-evaluation* I’ve been sitting here for the last hour-and-a-half wondering how I could have handled the situation to achieve a different outcome. All I can come up with is I should have either faked elation at the chance to ask her to pretty please, sugar on top move your car or sat there and awaited her gossipy pleasure without a murmur.

Obviously Ms Boxer feels that an apology is in order and after a long time contemplating exactly what I should apologise for, I think I’ve finally come up with the answer. Introducing Tool Chick’s first commercial product – a line of “I’m Not Really Sorry” greeting cards!